..

This is such a strange way...

to save the world

I Really Can't Stay, but Baby it's Cold Outside...

It finally feels like December

but I'm not sure how I like it

^I wanna be there^

Who am I that Heaven even knows my name?

Out with the negative

in with some positive

^I've always loved this picture^

Tonight at church- I realized something. No matter how hard we try, not one of us is going to have a perfect life. That sounds pretty obvious..we've been taught since we were three that no one is perfect, life isn't perfect. No one can fully get through life on their own. At some point you're going to have to surrender to something, you just have to make sure you're surrendering to the right thing.

Wish I'd Never Grown Up, It Could Still Be Simple.

It was not your fault but mine; it was your heart on the line

I really messed it up this time; didn't I dear?

I'm not even in the mood to tell people how my day went.

People are stupid, really stupid. I hate how rude some people (cough, girls) can be. Like seriously, you have NO idea what people go through behind closed doors. Where do you have the room to talk about imperfections? Nobody's perfect...and you're FAR from it too.

I hate when you tell me I'm immature...you're in high school, what do you know about mature?

I said that I was done with talking about what happened- I'm not.

We can sit here and blame what happened on each other allllll day long....but it's honestly not my problem anymore. I don't say that in a "I have no fault" way- because I know I messed up somewhere. I must have. But let's be serious for a second- if I DIDN'T care about, if I HATED you..I wouldn't speak to you when you spoke to me. I wouldn't respond to you. You can't honestly say you know me well enough. Because quite frankly, you really don't. But you should know me enough to realize I'm going to be honest with you- or I won't say anything to you. I just don't understand what I'm suppose to do if you're not going to take anything I do or say to heart. Just stop making it seem like it's all my fault.

And while I'm on a huge rant-

Stop complaining about life. You woke up this morning, you should be thankful. So what if your boyfriend stopped caring about you? So what if you're gossiped about? There's starving kids in China who would love to have your place. Calm the heck down.

I Brush My Teeth in the Shower.

It's FRIDAY.

and I'm not paying attention to this English Lesson

There's no use in me trying to catch up on notes on "southern gothic literature". Jimmy just spilled water all over himself and the floor. It literally looks like he peed his pants. ('of course I peed my pants- it's the COOLEST') And I volunteered to clean up his accident. So now, my attention span is gone. This is why I have a 78 in here, dad. My eye is killing me. I had to put eye drops in my eye- which is the scariest thing ever. When I see the droplet of eye drop about to hit my eye- I freaaaaaak out.

I've been getting a lot of crap from people today. I'm not dating anyone. I don't plan to date anyone. I only have friends. And that isn't a big deal.

Six things I wish I'd Never Done. (oh boy)

1. Put these eye drops in my eye.

2. Argued back at certain people. I should have let it go.

3. Let people stay mad at me.

4. Kept how I really felt a secret.

5. Lead you on.

6. ............God knows this one.

I Hope You Like Dancing in the Rain.

I'm watching The Santa Clause!

holller.

I don't think I could even describe how today was. But, I'm not going to bore you with what I exactly because you probably don't care. My day consisted of: school, date to food lion with emily benko!, basketball game, mcdonalds with case and colleen, and riding with THE kirsten boyd! (holller!)

I don't understand how people can say they 'care' about someone. Especially girls. We get so mad and paranoid over our guys being with other girls. There's nothing wrong with jealousy, as long as it's healthy. But if you aren't 'officially' with someone and you say you 'care' about them- let them do what they want. Who are you to stand in the way of what they really want? And besides- in the end everything's going to work out like they were meant to in the end. No use to fight for it.

But I guess its really not that simple.

Seven Things That Cross my Mind a lot.

1. food

2. "oh shift. I didn't do my homework"

3. I can't stand this school.

4. robot unicorn attack.

5. freeze pops.

6. It's SO cold.

7. I'm Hungry.

Blogging During School..say whaa?!

I really should be paying attention- but, it's too late for all of that.

I've made a decision. I'm NEVER dating. In high school, at least. Then again, that's not surprising. I'm not the kind of girl who has a boyfriend all of the time. It's rare I actually show feelings- for anyone. But I've learned a lot since 2009. I'm a better friend. I'll be there for you..but I'm not about to be tied down. It's complicated. But high school is suppose to be fun. And trying to keep someone happy isn't fun.

To whom it may concern:

I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss how you made me laugh. I miss giant bear hugs. I REALLY miss you in general.

Here's To Us.

TOMORROW IS THE FIRST DAY OF DECEMBER.

That mean's TWENTY-FIVE DAYS until the greatest holiday ever.

This is the VERY LAST thing I'll say about this whole situation- if you can't respect what I have to say...then forget you. You say 'I don't care', but if YOU cared- you wouldn't call me a liar. But it's okay. It's your life and who you want to be in your life will be in your life. I guess that's just not me.

HELLLUR. I'd like to say- I'm in a fantastic mood. Debbie wasn't here to fail me at my presentation, I got started on my stuff for yearbook, and got put in the most amazing group for English.

I went dress shopping with the Benko's and Meagan Owens afterschool. I'd like to say that tomorrow will be my first AND last time wearing a dress to school. (Debbie, you better feel honored)

You wanna know something that's been annoying me lately? How much crap people can talk. Like seriously, no one cares for your opinion if it's not helpful. We get our point of view changed SO much. We think this whole 'purity' thing is something that comes naturally. Yeah, we're all born innocent. But once we start having to decide what's innocent or not- purity is a decision. It's not something we break and can't get back. Through the grace and mercy of God, no matter how bad we screw up, we can become clean again. And since people tend to put themselves on higher levels than others- ALL sin is sin. So, just because you don't smoke, drink, or have sex doesn't mean you have the room to judge others based on mistakes they've made.

I wish people wouldn't be stupid...but I guess it's really not that simple.

Eight Ways to Win My Heart:

1. Love God as much as I do.

2. Have a sense of Humor.

3. Respect your mother.

4. Tell the Truth

5. UNDERSTAND.

6. No pressuring.

7. Laugh at my jokes...even if they suck.

8. Get along with my family.

That's Pretty Neat.

I can't wait to be on my own.

I'd like to start things on a positive note- I had an amazing first day back to school. For the first time in a long time- I actually didn't have to worry about anything. I didn't have to sit there and try to please everyone, I didn't feel torn between two places. I finally felt like I was where I needed to be, with the people who I wanted to be with, without having to worry about someone getting upset. It felt right.

But it's funny how the day changes so quickly. High school is hard. Last year was a breeze, the teachers actually cut you a break. This year- it's like teachers have no sympathy. You do ALL of your work, 110 percent. That wouldn't be a problem if they didn't give you SO much. Three core classes? This semester is ridiculous. Screw biology. Screw Algebra. Screw English. But next semester's a joke. I'm probably going to sleep the rest of the year.

If school wasn't enough to make me want to punch somebody- the constant nagging of everyone surely does it. I'm NOT Jesus. Sorry I can't meet all of your needs. I don't have to do anything for you- appreciate the things I do anyways.

I try to pull of this "I have absolutely everything together" attitude for people. I make mistakes. I regret my past. Sometimes, I say too much. A lot of the time I don't say enough. I'm a procrastinator. I slack off in school. I put too much trust in people I don't need to. I'm indecisive. I'm human.

I wish I could change my life around, but its really not that simple.

Day Nine:

1. I worship a living GOD.

2. I'm addicted to freeze pops.

3. I laugh at EVERYTHING. I'm not even kidding. I find everything hysterical.

4. I still watch Disney Channel.

5. I like Disney Channel.

6. I HATE when people say "GD"....like seriously, show respect.

7. I say "like" and "um" when I talk.

8. According to Justin, I say Holler a lot too.

9. I wish I was more organized.

10. I always have food with me.

(Ashley Martin, Courtney Elyard, Lauren Dance- this is yo' shout out!)

Hey, haven't I done this before?

New blog. I didn't keep up with the old one. Surprising.

I don't really know how to blog. It makes me sound stupid- but when it comes to talking about my life, I get bored. I'm a teenager. I eat, sleep, go to school, and watch TV. That seriously sums up the majority of my time.

I can't stand girls-excuse me- most girls. If your boyfriend is the center of your world- your priorities are screwed up. Big time.

I'm not against love, its just hard to believe in it. I believe God is the real source of unconditional love and nobody else can give you what God can. Maybe it's just me (it probably is just me)- but I change my opinion so much and at the end of the day we're selfish anyways.

Ten-Day Challenge.

Day 1:

1. It's not surprising I look up to you- it comes naturally. I just wish we could talk about things like we use to. I wish things were simple for you again. I wish things didn't turn out the way they did for you. But what happens, happens for a reason.

2. Sometimes, you think I hate you. I want a better relationship with you. But I don't know how to tell you. It's not my thing to show emotion.

3. We have a roller coaster relationship. Or, better we HAD a roller coaster relationship. I know you're going to read this, just to see what I had to say about this whole thing- but I'm sorry. If I could go back to the start of this year, I would. I would redo things. Make things right. But I can't. But you have to believe me if you really care about me. I screwed up. But we both did.

4. I'm not really sure about you. You're everything I wanted at one time. But that's the thing, I don't know what I want now. But I know I don't want anyone to get hurt.

5. I have 5,000 reasons why I shouldn't forgive you or feel bad about what happened. I still do anyways. I don't understand how I could go from someone you cared about to someone you feel uncomfortable talking to. Every time I see you in the hall- I want to tackle hug you and apologize for hurting you too. But, I don't know how to tell you.

6. You mean SO much to me. A year ago, I never would have put us as best friends. I feel like I can relate to you on so many levels.

7. I just met you this year-technically last year- but we just became friends. You can make my day with just stupid things you do that make me laugh. I'm glad we're friends- just don't hurt my best friend. ;)

8. We've been best friends for a few years, but I think this year we've gotten so much closer. We don't fight, that's something I've always admired about you. You always have the ability to turn anger into something funny.

9. It's funny how opinions can change. Last year, I was kind of forced not to like you. But this year- you've become a really good friend of mine. You make my day in biology. chuc

10. Just because you're number 10- doesn't mean I don't love you! I love how you're so neutral in situations and you always tell me how it really is. I'm glad we're such good friends. :)

Song of the Day- YES by LMFAO